The right thing to do
by nici's anatomy
Summary: Sometimes doing nothing but fooling everyone is the right thing to do. - "Hiatus" and Jenny Shepard from Todd's POV


**TITLE**: The right thing to do  
**AUTHOR: **nicis_anatomy  
**CHARACTER:** Todd Gelfand, Jenny Shepard (/Jethro Gibbs - implied)  
**GENRE:** Gen, Friendship  
**SUMMARY:** Sometimes doing nothing but fooling everyone is the right thing to do. - Response to Prompt #31 – 'Denial' for lj's madame_director.  
**RATING:** G  
**WORD COUNT:** 833  
**DiSCLAIMER:** I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

*~*~*~*

They don't know that I'm standing here, watching them – observing a patient as I used to call it. Normally that would be the right term, but in this case … this time it's different. I'm not here for him – not exclusively – but for her.

Jenny Shepard. First female Director of NCIS. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I like her. I think I could even fall in love with her.

Maybe I already did. She had me at 'hello'. And although we've only known each other for a few hours, although we haven't really talked I know she is the one who will - starting today - keep me up at night and haunt me by day. I've never before seen such a woman - amazing, strong and vulnerable at the same time; beautiful, mysterious, lovely, polite … and I'm sure she could also be a real bitch; cold and hard-bitten if necessary.

But not tonight; not if she's here in this room with him.  
When she is with him she's different; loving, caring, and strong. Hiding all her feeling behind a mask, she is there for him; as his boss, as a former partner. But I know she is more to him. I haven't asked but I can see that she is in love with him. Maybe she doesn't even know – but I can see it. She is more to him than just a co-worker, more than just a friend. She wouldn't be here for days if it were only the normal boss/agent relationship these two are bound by.

These two are meant to be. Maybe they have always been. I know they were partners – Jenny told me yesterday over lunch – but there is more. So much more she isn't telling me with words. Gibbs is more to her than only a former partner. And he also isn't just a random Special Agent working for her. Why would she then be here all night, restless, angry that there isn't more she could do to help him?

For Jenny, losing Gibbs is like losing the most important part of her life. She's afraid, scared, but she won't show him. I can see it. In her eyes, in the way she moves, the way she reacts, when I brief her on his latest condition. Every part of her is screaming for relief; for him to survive. She's trying to hide this fear; it's not working. Not for me. And I'm sure even Gibbs can feel it. He knows it, too - although he is still unaware of it. He knows her. And he has strong feelings for her. He can't remember her now – like he can't remember all of his other friends and co-workers. But seeing him with her is different than seeing him with Dr. Mallard – who called himself his oldest and best friend; the most important person in Special Agent Gibbs's life. Maybe Dr. Mallard really is.

But Jenny is too. She is the one bringing him back to life. She is the one who will look after him and give him back his will to live on.  
His mind may not remember her yet, but his heart does.  
And that's the reason why I'm here, hiding.

I like her. I really do. And I'd like to know her better. Maybe even become friends with her. But I don't know if this would eventually destroy me.  
It hurts to know that I can never be more than a friend to her. Knowing that we would never have what she and Gibbs have is a hard thing to digest. But then again I'm already aware of this; it already haunts me. So it won't make any difference if I'm standing here, torturing myself, thinking about her, instead of actually spending time with her – even if it's only for a minute… That minute might make my day.

And that's the reason why I now start walking towards her, smiling, as soon as she leaves his side. Perhaps I'm fooling not only her, pretending that everything is fine. But I have to. I can't show her that I'm worried. She would think that it's because of Gibbs's condition. It would scare her, make her sadder. I can't risk this. Not now - maybe never. I don't want to see her cry. I like her smile. The one she is giving me right now; the one that makes my heart jump; the one that makes denying everything and fooling her even harder. But as good as she is with fooling Gibbs - even fooling herself - by pretending everything is all right, so am I.

"Hello, Jenny," I greet her, smiling. "Fancy some coffee?"  
"I'd love to," is her answer, and the relief in her eyes is proof enough for me that I'm doing the right thing.

Maybe she would be angry if she'd know the truth. Maybe what I'm doing is wrong. But I don't care.  
Her smile is all I need right now.

**- The End -**


End file.
